“Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”-Judy Garland
Are you living in a shadow, the shadow of a family member, spouse, co-worker, or friend? Living in someone’s shadow not only leaves you unfulfilled, but it is a complex issue for one to live with and cause one to constantly struggle with how to be true to themselves. Someone with this issue ends up questioning their own value and self worth in all areas of life. If you are living in someone else’s shadow it is because you have a need to be associated with them, for example, a sibling you are constantly compared to or expectations others assume are you.
You need to look at your life and associations to the shadow and figure out a way to get out of the shadows of the iconic person. Get out of the shade and write down what you want in life, and why you are in this relationship. Step back and observe what you have written and you will be surprised how a pattern of behavior will become clear.
One can easily be consumed by the role of living in the shadow, but be honest with your wants and needs, and make a positive change from your newfound realization. A simple writing exercise is to make a list of feelings, behaviors, wants, needs, and so on. On the left hand side of the paper, list all the negatives or ways you feel you are “no value” or “in the shadow.” On the right hand side write down something positive or a strategy to manage or change those feelings. Write down at least one positive to each negative, and subconsciously and consciously you are igniting change to move out and beyond the shadow. Change your world with your mindset and let your behavior fuel your own self image and self worth.